I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
