Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
