She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
