Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
