Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
no you cant smoke seaweed
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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