i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
is this the sara with the beer cane?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
