A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
