it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
