How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
