just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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