just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I feel great
I just peed on a car
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
