no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I want a musical about memes.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
