just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
