Sry I called you an 8
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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