How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
