At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
