have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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