he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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