Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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