you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
