You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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