let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Alive.
So much puke
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
