I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
