people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
