direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Life is so much better after having sex.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
