I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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