I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
