well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
