dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
