I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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