I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
He has the fingertips of a God
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
