There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
