One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
