I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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