Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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