dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
