were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
