my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
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