i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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