she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
