She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
