Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
