how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
