Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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