dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
