Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
