Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
