Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
