My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
