A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
