So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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