i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
